How I Almost Ruined My Admission By Staring At Ladies' BO OBS

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“Guess what! I just received a call informing me that you have gained admission to study Tourism and Leisure Management at the Yaba College of Technology,” those were the words of my dad, who was overwhelmed with joy on hearing the news about my admission.

I didn’t know how to react to the news, whether to burst into tears, leap for joy, or just sit down and ruminate over the message again.

It was my sixth year at home, having finished my Secondary School Certificate Examination (SSCE) in 2002 and all my family members had turned spiritualists overnight because we all thought I was long overdue for it.

For an average Nigerian student, one of the most difficult things to get after the O’level is admission into a higher institution of learning.

Well, I finally decided on what to do after hearing the news. I ran outside to meet my younger brothers, and told them: “your brother is going to the prestigious YABATECH. Tell it to everybody.”

“No more staying in this house with you, I am now a big boy, I am finally leaving this house for good,” I added in a rather ecstatic manner.

For me, it was the beginning of another phase of my existence, this was even more because of the many fantasies I already had about tertiary institutions.

The lectures, the new friends, hostel life (although I already had a background with that), the cultists (fear gripped me) and of course, the beautiful ladies.

I was all smiles throughout that evening, and could not concentrate on anything else. I even occasionally misbehaved, I was just too excited.

Before nightfall, I had called my closest friend (at least I did not have a girlfriend then), to tell him that I was going to a tertiary institution after all.

We met, spoke and said our emotional goodbyes, after making so many promises.

I slept off that day, dreaming of ladies crushing on me, topping my class, and being the most sought after guy on campus.

The next day refused to come early but when it did, I was the first to get into the bathroom to clean up, humming popular melodies repeatedly.

Spotting a v-neck turquoise blue polo on a pair of newly-bought jeans trousers and a pair of suede sneakers, I was set to take the Akoka, Yaba campus of the institution by storm.

My mum had also woken up to deliver her personal sermon that morning.

“Remember the son of whom you are. All the bible verses and everything that you learn here everyday, remember when to apply them,” she had said in Yoruba as I made to leave the house.

My mum was almost shedding tears while she was talking, but she managed to put herself together as we had the general devotion prior to my exit.

Immediately I left the house, my mind was already set on the challenges ahead. I boarded the first bus from my area, and in no time, I was staring the gate of the institution face-to-face.

I made straight for the admin building before heading to my department, where I met all the sexy, beautiful and gorgeously dressed babes.

“Chai! See kaka (meaning buttocks)” I had exclaimed silently in my heart.

I was carried away staring at the ladies that I almost forgot to conclude my admission ‘rites’.

It was when I was staring at a lady’s bo obs that I got the shock of my life.

“Chai! See kaka (meaning buttocks)” I had exclaimed silently in my heart.

I was carried away staring at the ladies that I almost forgot to conclude my admission ‘rites’.

It was when I was staring at a lady’s bo obs that I almost got the shock of my life.

A lecturer in the department of Hotel and Catering Management (name withheld) simply tapped Me from behind.

“Young man, are you sure everything is well with you?”

“Haven’t you seen young ladies before? If you like them, why don’t you move close instead of stretching your neck and popping out your eyeballs in that manner?” he queried.

Those words quickly jolted me back to life and I didn’t know exactly what to say and how to answer his questions.

First, I examined the man; fair-looking, absolutely handsome with a very neat appearance, he must have been in his early 40s.

Immediately, my senses started returning, “just how did he know that I was staring at the ladies’ exciting ‘frontals’ if he wasn’t doing the same?” I mumbled, still trying to get over the embarrassment.

The ladies all smiled at him and made a mockery of me as I only managed to apologise to the man I later understood was our Geography lecturer.

“Err… I’m sorry sir, I was actually looking at the inscriptions on their tops,” I muttered.

I was still yet to find my way to the HOD’s office because I wanted to digest everything that was happening almost at a time.

The buildings in the institution were totally awesome, I was in total awe when I saw the Creative Arts Department. The architectural work inside the school were second to none.

Guys chattering away after lectures, ladies following lecturers to plead for assignments collection or test scripts, perhaps.

The ambience of the whole place was just totally different from what I was used to, so I took my time to store everything because I knew I would have a lot to tell my siblings and friends when I returned home.

It was almost noon before I got to meet the HOD. She was all smiles as she asked me if I had been cleared by the course adviser.

“Sorry Ma, is he our class captain? Or who is a course adviser?” I asked, looking rather naïve.

“My Dear, she is the one who will look at your papers and tell you whether your results are in order, as well as your admission requirements for the course under which your name has been listed,” the beautiful woman explained calmly albeit amid intermittent smiles.

Momentarily, I felt really embarrassed, but since there were only both of us there, I smiled back at her and thanked her.

After explaining other details to me, I got to know how things worked in the institution.

She also told me that lectures had begun in my department since my admission came with the last batch (those who had to be admitted because on their influence).

At that point, I was confused because I was yet to finish up with the registration, and I had not attended a single class prior to the day I heard that I had been granted admission.

Well, I felt checking out the classrooms wouldn’t be a bad idea after all, so I quickly asked for directions and I settled in fast.

As the devil would have it, almost all my colleagues were female and I immediately noticed this particular one was already smiling at me.

“Mehn, this is the real deal. See how this heavily endowed babe is staring at me,” I smiled in my heart.

“She must be tripping for me already. Omo, na my first day already and babe don identify fine boy,” I went on still buzzing with excitement within me.

I didn’t understand that her smile meant trouble for me until the next day, it was yet the most disappointing moment on my first day.

I thought I had caught a ‘big fish’ when the lady was staring and smiling towards my direction, but I was mistaken.

It turned out to be another hoax, another fantasy which would not see the light of the day after my stay on campus.

Talking about the babe, she was spotting a pink round neck polo t-shirt (with her cleavages looking like they would drop from their positions any moment) on a short skirt which left little to the imagination, and a pair of pink sneakers to match her top.

Like one who had been cursed, my eyes could not leave her ‘frontal columns’ as I kept staring at the inscription on her top: “look… don’t touch!” and thought within me “why would a lady come up with such an atrocious outfit when she was sure that guys would be ever willing to keep staring?”

“Perhaps, that was one of the things one must meet here.”

The smile would later fade away as soon as it came as it turned out to be one which suggested that I had been caught up in a serious mess with my late arrival and registration.

No sooner had I entered the classroom than I heard that registration would be ending that week (it was a Tuesday) and that anyone who failed to complete his before the stipulated time would have to forfeit his provisional admission.

At that moment, I was already sweating despite the fact that we were the privileged few to have air conditioners in our classroom. I felt like defecating, I was cold, my heart began to beat really fast, my head started aching me, I was really confused and did not know how to rescue the situation.

Immediately, I remembered that I had yet to meet with the course adviser, so I stepped out of the classroom and headed straight to her office. I turned back, however, to stare at the lady, only for me to see her wearing a smirk on her face.

Front view of the entrance to the Yaba College of Technology (YABATECH)

“Jeeez, she must have seen me look really disturbed,” I whined.

When I got to the course adviser’s office, the place had been locked up!

At that moment, I felt the shit strolling down my bowels, looking like they might drop any moment.

Many thoughts started coming up, almost at the same time. “What do I do now, since the HOD has asked me to meet her to finish up with the screening? What will I say I achieved today? How will I face my parents and siblings when I get home? But where in the name of God has this woman gone to?” 

While I was still in my own world, the lady I met in class earlier just walked up to me and without wasting much time, said in pidgin: “O boy, e be like say you no sabi say clearance no be beans, abi?” meaning (you seem to be unaware of how tedious clearance could be).

Before adding: “I’d suggest that you wait for her here until she arrives.

“Anyway, I am Bisi,” as she stretched her slim, silky hand forward, “and you seem to be very new to the system here.”

Without hesitating, I accepted the handshake with utmost gratitude, while also replying, “I am Ben, nice meeting you.”

If not for my disbelief in the fact that ladies could seduce men with charms, I would have concluded that the lady took my hands with some kind of voodoo.

This was because the moment I shook hands with her, all my worries disappeared! It felt like I had met with Jesus, the peaceful man, and everything I was thinking within me vanished as my eyes (God have mercy on me) fell on her chest.

The newly-built administrative building of the Yaba College of Technology, Lagos

“Chai! This girl will destroy somebody today,” I mused to myself while I was at it.

She noticed that I liked the inscriptions and gave me a very lewd smile. I didn’t know whether to reply with same having experienced her initial coldness stemming from the first smile I got from her.

Feeling rather embarrassed, I quickly looked away and said: “I just hope the woman returns today so that I can quickly finish up with this registration, I cannot afford not to do the clearance and other stuff today.

“Thanks a lot, Bisi. You have really been of great help in the last few minutes.”

She simply smiled and turned to leave, and apparently noticing that I might be staring at her rare side, she wiggled her hips even more, as she descended the stairs.

“Omo, na which kain life be this now? Person never do registration, dis girl wan finish me with all these things. Kai! Na die I dey so,” I said to myself in pidgin.

While I was sitting down in front of the course adviser’s office, I suddenly started dosing and soon slept off.

And while I was at it, I had a very serious dream. Bisi suddenly appeared in my dream and what happened afterwards is a story for another day.

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